“Sometimes you have to suffer the consequences.”

When I hear Christians insist that sometimes you have to “suffer the consequences” while appraising OTHER PEOPLE’S failings, I have to ask why? Why, when ” all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus,”(Romans 3:23) when “because of his great love for us, God, is rich in mercy”? (Ephesians 2:4)

Besides, other than restitution for stealing, can a person truly pay for what they’ve done? Beware of feeling better because a person has paid (as in “I’m going to make him pay!”) for what he/she has done to you—God says that’s his department—not ours and we’re to forgive other Christians anyway (for those non-Christians who have done things against us, we need not let our feelings against them fester but turn the person and our feelings over to God who will either get vengeance or give mercy. It’s up to him).

I’m very glad Jesus already “suffered the consequences” for my sin (and yours) because those consequences would be eternal death! No way do I want to take that back on!!! But that’s what we do (in effect) when we insist that others must pay for their sins (literally: missing the mark) when Jesus has already done it. (see the parable of the unmerciful servant, Matthew 18:23-35)

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you…” Matthew 7:12

“You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else.”

This in an idea embraced by many Christians in the 1990’s and is still repeated and believed, mostly by those in the Inner Healing movement. They’ve built it on a misunderstanding of Jesus’ words in Matthew 19:19, “love your neighbor as yourself” (from Leviticus 19:18),insisting that a person must have good self-esteem in order to love anyone else. But Jesus didn’t say that. He was speaking from a “given" that people in general think very well of themselves, feeding themselves, putting themselves first (of course,there are some who don’t, but a closer look might surprise you). Paul confirms this general understanding in Ephesians 5:28,29.

However, history reveals the surprising roots of this idea of self-love preceding love for others, “According to Buddhism, self-love comes first. By helping ourselves we can help others effectively."*

*urbandharma.org/udharma/metta.html